Nick Hogan is getting three months knocked off his jail sentence and will be a free man before Halloween. He was serving eight months after a car accident that left his best friend John Graziano in a coma with a massive hole in his head. TMZ reports:

Nick’s being released from Pinellas County Jail on Oct. 21, three months short of the eight-month sentence he got for felony reckless driving. His early release is for good behavior.

Well, I’m sure Nick’s learned his lesson. In fact, the next time he drag races drunk, he’s totally making his passenger wear a seat belt.

Nick Hogan/Bollea turns 18 on Sunday, and it looks like he’s all set to receive a special birthday corn-holing. Dreams do come true! TMZ reports:

Bollea, who has been housed with other juveniles at Pinellas County Jail, will be moved to an adult facility on Sunday, aka his 18th birthday. It’s an open dormitory type of setting where he’ll be in close contact with other adult inmates. The inmates are either awaiting sentencing or have already been sentenced in cases ranging from misdemeanors to felonies.

If Nick’s lucky, he remembered some wrestling moves his dad taught him. Particularly the “Take Lots of Roids to Shrink your Nuts” maneuver. That way you can get hit there all day and won’t feel a thing. I don’t exactly know how that’ll prevent the butt sex, but I’ve completely tapped all my interest in Nick’s well being. So, who wants donuts?

The Graziano family has released video footage of John Graziano’s daily rehabilitation in the hospital. We’ve all known he’s been in a coma and has a hole in a head, but no one mentioned how freaking huge the hole is. The footage appeared on Nancy Grace midweek with the hole pixelated and, well, uh, I just saw the unpixelated version. It’s goddamn insane and really puts Hulk Hogan’s “God wants John in a coma to make him a better person” comment in a whole other light. A bright, bleached, asinine “Wow, what a dick” light. No wonder the Hulk got death threats from John’s brother. In fact, I’m about to give him a death threat:

Terry… you cocksucka… I will pee in your moustache… all your money won’t help you now… unless you buy a moustache shield… um… sucker of cocks, Luke, I’m your father.

Go easy on me. It’s my first time.

WARNING: Uncensored video after the jump contains disturbing images unless you’re the sort of person who finds gaping head wounds divine.

Thanks to The Builder for the tip. I hope those permits come through.