Impeccable sources reveal exclusively to PerezHilton.com that Guy Ritchie is walking away with $70 million of Madonna’s money in his divorce from the Queen of Pop.
He’s worse than Heather Mills.
At least she was upfront about being a gold digger!
[Image via WENN.]

Guy Ritchie just poured tea, biscuits and poor dental hygiene all over Madonna’s claims that he’s a gold-digger. The British director has refused to accept a penny of her money in their divorce settlement with his only concern being the living arrangement of their children. The Daily Mail reports:

Although Ritchie, himself believed to be worth £30m, was entitled under English divorce law to as much as half of her wealth, sources suggest he has done a ‘Piper’ - a reference to Billie Piper, the actress who divorced the broadcaster Chris Evans without asking for anything.
The stumbling block in the split had been over where Ritchie and Madonna’s children will now live.
Madonna, 50, wished to take the children back to New York while Ritchie, 40, wanted to keep his sons in London, where they have grown up.
The source said a compromise had now been reached which will see the two boys - Rocco, eight, and three-year-old adopted David - dividing their time between Britain and the US.

Before everyone starts singing the praises of Guy Ritchie, his intentions are not entirely altruistic. C’mon, the dude’s smart. He knows you don’t steal a mummy’s gold without a scorpion ending up in your urethra. That’s science.

Madonna hasn’t gotten much rest since her shocking announcement (not!) that she was divorcing Guy Ritchie, and then interesting follow-up claims that it was Guy who called to end the marriage after “simply fall[ing] out of love.” The rumors won’t stop yet, that’s for sure, but they won’t stop Madonna from continuing her daily routine. For Madonna, the show must go on (literally speaking) and trips to the Kabbalah Center will continue. Even if she’s covering her face with giant shades and a trucker cap, she’s making the effort!

Madonna was snapped here heading to the Kabbalah Center in New York City prior to catching her flight to Toronto.

Click Continue Reading for All 5 Thumbnails of “Madonna Puts On A Brave Face, Goes To Kabbalah.”

Pictures by Splash News

Madonna and Guy Ritchie’s marriage hit the skids in 2005 when Madonna was injured in a horse-riding accident. Apparently Guy didn’t fawn over Madonna enough which has been the crux of every single fight they’ve had since, a family friend told The Sun:

“If you can pinpoint an exact event or incident which spelled the death knell for them as a couple, Madonna’s horse-riding accident was it. Every other row the couple had following that boiled down to what happened that summer.”
The family friend said: “Madonna was in a huge amount of pain and expected Guy to drop everything to be at her bedside. In her mind that is what every husband should do to support his wife when she has been through a traumatic, possibly life-threatening, experience. But Guy approached the whole thing in what she now calls, ‘A very British way’.”

Madonna is now swearing off all British men because, as we learned yesterday, they’re “emotional retards:”

Pals say Madge …. now blames her man’s “no-nonsense” approach to their marriage on his British public school upbringing.
She says he was “typical of emotionally-stunted British men” and refuses to ever date another Brit. The pal said: “Madonna’s convinced British men are light years behind Americans when it comes to emotional honesty and sophistication.”

I’m sure all the English fellows are deeply saddened to learn they won’t be having sex with Madonna. I’m kidding, of course. They probably feel like they won the lottery - except instead of cash they won not Madonna’s vagina. Huzzah!

Madonna gave her first concert performance last night since announcing her divorce. The “Sticky & Sweet” tour continued in Boston where PythonArms DeathFace took a crack at her soon-to-be ex-husband Guy Ritchie. NY Daily News reports:

Her Madgesty dedicated the song “Miles Away,” about a couple that grows apart, to the “emotionally retarded” in a not-so-subtle jab at her soon to be ex-husband Guy Ritchie on Wednesday night in Boston.
“This song is for the emotionally retarded,” Madonna announced to the 20,000-plus crowd at the latest stop on her “Sticky and Sweet” tour. “Maybe you know some people who fall into that category. God knows I do.”

I take offense to this. As someone with “emotional Tourette’s” I can’t help but think “Fuck. SHIT. Damn. My father never hugged me.”

In another example of vultures circling a corpse, more rumors regarding Madonna and Guy Ritchie have surfaced. Wendy Leigh, a writer who helped Christopher Ciccone with his book “Life With My Sister Madonna”, has claimed she knew about letters and emails from Madonna to her brother stating the “Material Girl’s” reservations to marriage and then later, regarding a separation the couple went through in 2003, which was apparently Ritchie’s suggestion. Wendy Leigh was talking to Fox News celebrity columnist Roger Friedman. Wendy could not state anything specific from the letters, as it is illegal to quote from them. 

I think it is a shame Madonna, pictured here looking striking in orange and rather muscular with her husband, director Guy Ritchie, has to put up with all the rumors and claims made by people cashing in on her immense fame. If her marriage with Ritchie is on the rocks, then people should give them a chance to reconciliate or at least break up with dignity. Madonna will be celebrating her 50th birthday tomorrow and Splash News wishes her a Happy Birthday!

Click here to see all 3 pictures of Madonna and Guy Ritchie

Poor Guy– we really got him this time! As he exited the Kabbalah Centre alone, he looked genuinely surprised to see everyone hanging around waiting for him to exit– it’s nice to be able to surprise people and have them be cool about it. Considering all the sh*t he’s been going through (more than a little whispering in his presence, I think), it’s nice to see him looking positive.

Click Continue Reading for All 11 Thumbnails of “Guy Ritchie Exits Kabbalah Alone!”

Pictures by SF/ Splash News

Remember when we saw Madonna plunging into her Kabbalah meeting after arriving late? She didn’t look much better on her way out, but then again, the rumors are still probably making it difficult to look the paps in the eye as they shoot out their usual 20 Questions.

This time, I can’t imagine that many of them are too comfortable to field, even though she did her exclusive denial to PEOPLE last week.

Click Continue Reading for All 22 Thumbnails of “Madonna Clutches Guy’s Hand Post-Kabbalah.”

Pictures by Ryan Turgeon / Splash News

While A-Rod’s marriage falls apart, Madonna decided it’d be a good time to issue a statement to People letting everyone know she’s going to stick with Guy Ritchie. She also apparently decided it’d be a good time to look like the bad guy from Hellboy II. I have no idea:

My husband and I are not planning on getting a divorce. I know Alex Rodriguez through Guy Oseary, who manages both of us. I brought my kids to a Yankee game. I am not romantically involved in any way with Alex Rodriguez. I have nothing to do with the state of his marriage or what spiritual path he may choose to study.”

After issuing her statement, Madonna opened her mouth and released a horde of flies throughout Lower Manhattan allowing Guy Ritchie to kidnap another black boy. Oh, sure, people say that’s David Banda, but then tell me: Who is this?! *pulls back window curtains* …. I swear to God I hid a black kid back here. I sort of “borrowed” him from the employee day care. *sniff sniff* I smell moth balls and sarcophagus funk. Madonna was here wasn’t she? Shit. I may get fired for this one. Unless… *picks up phone* Hello, Domino’s? I want a pizza with “I didn’t even know we had a day care” spelled out in pepperoni.