OH, BRENDA:

We’ve been sent this photograph a lot in the last few days, along with e-mails that say things like, “WTF?” and “Has she lost her mind?” and of course, “Brenda and Kelly would NEVER have worn this.” That last point IS probably true.

But then my sense of justice won out, and God help me, I decided to
do poor old Drunkface here a solid: AnnaLynne is in costume here for a performance with Treasure Island’s “Sirens” show in Las Vegas. Therefore, rest comfortably, readers, because she has NOT (yet)(that we know of) lost her mind or turned into a Peldon, or decided to run out for Diet Coke dressed like Jabba the Hut’s cleaning lady.

She MAY, however, be self-medicating with
loincloths to dull the pain of her day job on 90210. But at least they are not loincloths of her own choosing. I mean, a girl can’t very well gyrate with the swashbucklers on a big fake pirate ship wearing boyfriend jeans and a hoodie, unless perhaps she is in costume as plucky stowaway who sneaks above deck at night and secretly steers the ship off-course so that it lands somewhere with cheaper Happy Hours. But there are extremely low odds of sexy results with that, and it wouldn’t get her very much attention — and who can blame her for wanting a bit more of that? She’s probably desperate to be in the press for something other than her accidentally hilarious day job, at which she does one of two things: “emotes” via tiny convulsions, or speed-talks through the clumsy scripts. The former is simply unfortunate, but the latter secretly might be a clever attempt to get through it faster; both combined, however, could be a potent and overdue nod to her hair twin, Jessie Spano, meaning we’ll find out in two weeks that Drunkface’s character is hooked on caffeine pills that have her so excited, so excited, SO SCARED. Seriously, that’s how bad the show is — I’m actually rooting for it to rip off Saved By The Bell. And fast.

On the CW’s brand new 90210 (2.0) the role of infamous mean girl Brenda Walsh has been reincarnated…as a total bitch!
The show’s newcomer, Shenae Grimes, who portrays Annie Wilson, doesn’t seem to know her Beverly Hills history because she’s repeating Shannen Doherty’s bad girl mistakes - and then some.
According to reports, Miss Grimes [...]

This is an on-set shot of Shenae Grimes, who plays one of the California newcomers in the 90210 spin-off (essentially, the new Brenda Walsh — in spirit, if not in awesomely huffy, deliciously self-righteous personality).

Shenae’s character’s name is Annie, which if you look at her feet, should be no surprise:

[Photo: INFDaily.com]

Surely it can’t be a coincidence that, from the ankle down, she’s
dressed as a high-heeled version of the plucky, carrot-topped
orphan that is her namesake. I deeply hope she and Lori Loughlin open the show with a kicky rendition of “I Think I’m Gonna Like It Here,” right before Annie and her brother turn “Tomorrow” into a joyous tribute to Southern California’s generally pleasant weather. Sure, you can TRY to bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow there will be sun, but no one’s going to give you very long odds on that.

The new 90210 hasn’t even started and yet I already cherish it deeply. As you can imagine, the news that Shannen Doherty would be back as Brenda Walsh was met with great rejoicing here at GFY HQ. We sent Intern George out for bellinis and wheels of cheese immediately. Part of what is so delectable about the return of half the original cast is that you know the New Generation is kind of worried that they’re five minutes away from being downgraded to tertiary characters who get minimal screen time while Kelly and Brenda wrestle in the West Beverly High swimming pool and argue some more about Dylan. Which could actually probably happen. Like, who has time to worry about the random problems of some girl who used to be on Degrassi when we’ve got the possible demise of Donna’s marriage to David to consider AND then an hour later (or whatever), we need to concentrate on Chuck and Blair? But I have to say, I want to take one of the Extra Crispy Recipe cast members and crush her to my bosom with joy, because I can already tell she is going to be amusing. I speak of AnnaLynne McCord:

Just when you thought it was safe to go back to high school free of 20 and 30 somethings riddled with teenage angst, 90210 is back. The spin-off show is expected to debut in the Fall of 2008 and Shannen Doherty is the latest star believed to be reprising her role, as Brenda. Others to join her include Tori Spelling and Jennie Garth. However, the New York Post is reporting that Doherty is waiting to see a script and demanding more money, you know, because she is a “big star”.

So many shows TV producers could choose to remake and they choose 90210, after all, there aren’t enough TV shows about spoiled Californian teenagers who are alienated because they chose to wear red sneakers on a Wednesday. Why not bring back T J Hooker, The Fall Guy or even The A Team. They could update The A Team:

“In 2002 a crack commando unit was sent to prison…” and make them Iraq War veterans. The new BA could be scared of sudden explosions and only drink neat vodka and the new Murdock could have Gulf War Syndrome (TV producers please don’t steal my idea).

Click here to see all 7 pictures of Shannen and Holly Marie Combs on a night out

This afternoon, Heather and I realized that today — July 1, 2008 — is Go Fug Yourself’s fourth birthday. If this blog were a person, she’d be going to preschool and dressing herself, probably nearly as well as some of the people we’ve featured over the years. Needless to say, when we started GFY, we had no idea we’d be here four years and countless hissyfits later, and with all snarky bitchery aside, we’re tremendously thrilled that we are. It wouldn’t have happened without our amazing, awesome readers, and we’re so grateful that you guys are checking us out when you’re supposed to be working (or washing dishes or exercising or translating Proust, or whatever). You are, to quote the great David Silver, so precious to us; we hope we are precious to you.

As a gift, we present one of the most sterling works of the aforementioned David Silver. No, not his infamous performance of “Precious.” Instead, we’d like to inflict upon you — um, we mean, delight you with — perhaps one of the most awkward, poorly costumed and excruciatingly choreographed moments in television history, as well as what we suspect might have been the tipping point for Shannen Doherty’s descent into on-set assholery. (YOU try being nice to people after you’ve had to do this on national television.) The video treat is after the jump. Enjoy! Watch it twice, three times, whatever — it’s our birthday; indulge yourselves.